Dear Heart to Heart, My wife and I have been married for five years. To support the family, I gave her capital to start a business. In the beginning, she always updated me about the progress of the business but she has now stopped doing this. The other day, while looking for some documents, I discovered she had bought two plots of land in her name. When I asked her about it, she said she had used money from the business and I should stop asking her many questions because she runs the business. Although we are still together, we no longer communicate. What can I do? Robert
Suzan Engelhardt. The woman to me has done nothing wrong since the business was opened for her and it is her payment as a mother. Besides, she has children with you and they will profit from what their mother is setting aside. As long as the woman is developmental and has been contributing towards some small needs in the family then let her also have something. Otherwise, you would have emphasised the business is yours from the beginning such that she is like any other employee. I would also plan for that money like this woman did. Besides men too are not reliable these days.
Grace Ikwalingat. Your wife is intelligent, sharp, focused and determined. She must have seen how undetermined, unfocused you are so she decided to think for her children. Be humble and grateful because such women are hard to find. Another would run the business down and instead buy themselves a luxurious home and run away from you and take your children as well.
Nampa Patience Natie. Start communicating with your wife again. It could be that at some point you were also not transparent and hid some things from her. Maybe she could have realised that you have no future plans of expanding the business or getting other sources of money and decided to invest. Best thing to do is to try regaining the communication you had in the beginning so that both of you can easily express yourselves to the other and if this fails, try consulting someone that she trusts to know more about her plans.
Barbara Nakintu. If you have children then be happy. Even if you are not grateful, you gave her the money because you are committed to her. So, do not build walls now but strengthen the bridges. Seems the business is doing well. Your children will have a bright future with a mother like that.
Sanyu Joseline. The only thing you should do is to stay with her. Never think of separating from her. All she is doing is for your family- you, her, and your children. If you ever stray and have other children, then you must plan for them as well. She is letting you know that this investment is for her children.
Danson Nahurira. Need to sit down and resolve the ownership. The plots of land should be registered in the family name so that no single person has ownership. You should also pray for guidance from God.
Joan Felicity. Thank God that she has bought land other than makeup, shoes and other stuff that would not help your children have a bright future.
Racheal Abigail Kyalisima. If the children she has are yours, then stop fussing. Your children will enjoy this sweat.
Pollar Rachael. How did it come to this since you say was transparent in the beginning. Discover where you lost it and start from there.
Harrie Alicia. In courts of law you deserve to know just like she deserves to know what you are doing when it comes to money. Whatever properties are accumulated while you are married belong to the two of you.
Alfred Avuni. Frankly very few women have the mental strength to control money and remain feminine.
Micheal Kaggwa. Start getting involved in the business and home. It seems you just gave her capital and left everything else to her.
Christine Woods. In my honest opinion, your wife will only start lying to you if you have given her reason to do so. In your own admission, she was transparent in the beginning. When she started smelling a rat, her first instinct was to start planning for the future of her children. The only way this conflict can be resolved is by you apologising and then asking her why she stopped trusting you.
David Mukasa. If there were no clear rules and regulations set from the beginning then you have no right to demand for accountability now. Maybe she genuinely believed that you have set up a business to reward her for being a good wife.
Peter Nakabaale. It seems there is no trust between the two of you yet this is one of the strongest pillars of any marriage. You must both sit down and try to work on your marriage before even demanding answers about the plots of land. Learn to trust your wife again and she will reciprocate by telling you the truth.
Sign a contract
Women always have a plan B therefore you should have one as well. Go into a business partnership with a contract or atleast a written agreement stipulating who owns what and how the business will operate.
So that incase such a scenario happens, you have proof that you have been defrauded or that something is amiss. Donot rely on trust because it can be broken at any given time and this is usually done by those you least suspect of any wrong doing.